Here are a couple stories from pages 104-105 from my book Teaching is Being: Embracing the Educator Within that talk about the importance of accessing your basic sense of compassion and empathy in the classroom:
It was over 50 years ago, but I still remember it vividly. Our second-grade teacher gave each of her students a handful of modeling clay and said they should make a turkey to celebrate the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. To be fair, I do specifically remember her saying we should stay seated at our desks. But I was not particularly good at arts and crafts, so when I was proud of the turkey I had created out of nothing, I leapt from my seat, ran up to my teacher and said, “Look! Look what I made!” Her face turned dark and she said sternly, “I told you to stay in your seat!” At this point, she grabbed my clay turkey, smushed it between both of her hands, and handed the amorphous blob back to me. I slunk back to my seat, dejected.
I don’t remember her being a mean or difficult teacher, but even now her reaction seems extreme and really kind of mean. Maybe she was having a rough day for some reason. I’m not sure. But the moral of the story is that if you’re going through something, don’t take it out on the clay turkey.
Years later, in my senior year of high school, I was struggling with some overwhelming issues at school and so I skipped my last two classes and went to a local pizza joint with some friends to blow off some steam. It was one of the only times I ever cut class, but since I took the school bus home, my friends had to get me back to campus in time to catch my ride. When I was walking from my friends’ car to the bus stop, I ran smack into my last period teacher.
“Where were you today?” he asked.
Never the troublemaker, I opted for honesty.
“I’m going through some stuff, and so I went and got some pizza with my friends.”
“I see,” he said, nodding a bit. Then, as he walked off, he said simply, “See you tomorrow.”
As these stories suggest, some of the most disappointing, frustrating, and unsuccessful moments in my own education were the times when I felt the teacher simply did not understand me or where I was coming from. They simply had no idea what I was about. That often made me feel lost and adrift in a class. On the other hand, when a teacher stopped to truly understand me, I felt “seen” and cared for.
When I became a teacher myself—and reflected on those two stories (among many others)—it helped me realize that two of the most important ideas in terms of being a heart-centered teacher are compassion and empathy.
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It’s important to remember that, as a teacher, you deal with human beings every day and those humans have stories of which you are completely unaware. You have no idea what they’re going through. By the same token, YOU are a human being and are entitled to your own story (and feelings and issues and circumstances. . .).
Remembering to be compassionate and empathetic can help get you through. TZT
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If you enjoy the ideas I share in this newsletter, consider picking up a copy of Teaching is Being: Embracing the Educator Within.
You can grab your copy here.